So the saying goes: “the grass is greener on the other side” — an idiom we all know too well. However, I must say that in this instance it is less of an idiom and more of a factual statement both literally and figuratively since I have yet to see rain in California. Regardless, I bring up this topic not because I hate California (I got some backlash from some of my new Cali-native sister-friends for one of my previous posts), but because I want to talk about the realities of moving across the country where you know literally (minus one person in my case) no one.
Reality is not glamorous. Just as I was let down by the less than pristine Hollywood Blvd, the whole “I’m moving to LA!” bit is growing stale. By all means I have so much to see and do here before my 9 months are up — after all, I’ve only been here a month and a half — but with whom?
Most people who move to a new city for a job are able to be friends with the people they work with — I do not have that luxury. I meet hundred of women who are my sisters and who are people I genuinely like, but there is a line that is drawn when you are a consultant. Sure I have my co-workers, but all minus my project partner are roaming around the rest of the country, in the same situation that I am in. How does one go about making friends in a new city when you don’t even have acquaintances?
Before this post sounds too much like I’m complaining (I’m not, just being 100 with y’all), let me turn it around and say all this alone time lets you learn and think– a lot (like I need to do any more of that).
So here are some things I’ve learned in the short month and a half of me being in a new place:
Things I’ve learned:
- I like being alone, but not when it’s forced. I thought I would have no problem with this job, but the whole lonely thing is a little harder than expected. I’ve realized that I like being alone when I choose to take that time for myself. But when it’s a matter of I literally have no friends so I have no other option than to be alone… that’s a different story.
- I’ve learned who my life-long friends are. I’ve also learned that I have a different type of relationship with each of these friends. Some of them I talk to often, others I don’t. But regardless of our means and frequency of communication, all of these people are friends I know I’ll have in my life forever.
- I love Fall. And Winter. And the change of seasons in general. And I’m actually depressed that I’ll be missing it this year.
- I love Chicago, and the Midwest in general. The more places I visit, the more I realize it. But that does not mean I’m thankful for all of the places I’m visiting, because there is beauty everywhere; I just prefer home.
- The United States is unique in the fact that a different part of the country has a completely different culture. And of course I knew this already, but it’s different when you’re living and experiencing it.
- Finally, I’m learning to do things on my own. Because as much as I love sitting on my couch watching Netflix by myself (more than I care to admit), I DON’T want to let this year in a new place go to waste. I want to experience as much as LA has to offer, and knowing that I won’t always have an adventure buddy cannot deter me. So, I’ll have to learn to do things on my own and be okay with that.
So I guess what I’m saying is this; moving to an entirely new place on your own is scary and it’s lonely, but it’s a growing process. I know I’m going to learn so much more as this year goes on, and at some point I hope that learning process becomes exhilarating and thrilling; I think it will.
’til next time.
thrive & be bold.