In the last week, I’ve attended a wedding, sat at a table as the only single person, listened to a recently engaged couple talk about wedding plans, listened to another couple talk about plans to get engaged, listed to a friend talk about how many carats her engagement ring should be, and listened to countless people talk about all of the babies they want to have– and in each of these situations I sat in an almost out-of-body experience and had one thought: I am not on this level.
Now, before you start thinking this is going to be one of those “11 reasons why you shouldn’t get married/settle down so young” posts, let me assure you that I have absolutely no problem with people tying the knot at a young age, as long as they take the commitment seriously. In fact, I am very happy for all of my friends who have found that special someone already, I just can’t relate.
Long have I known that this would be my life’s path. To date, I’ve had exactly one high school boyfriend, which ended rapidly after a month and a half because “Mom, I just don’t have time for a boyfriend right now.” (I often avoided phone calls from him and told my Mom to stall for me, oops.)
I think my Mom hoped that once I got to college I would find someone to tie myself to, but alas. Instead, Central was a prime spot to fall for one f*ckboy after another (you’d think I’d learn, but this unfortunate skill has haunted me even past graduation).
So here I sit, 23 and two months away from 24, watching mostly all of my good friends have an S.O., talk about their “five year plans”, and all I can think of are things like how fun it would be to go on the road with a band once in my life (not as a groupie, y’all, calm down). All I can think of is how many cities I have yet to explore, how many people I have yet to meet, how many crazy nights I have ahead of me and the epic stories that come along with them.
To be honest, I’m quite surprised at myself; the high school version of me would be having a panic attack that I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, that I don’t have a set plan for my life (being 100 with you I still have small panic attacks but high school Haleigh would be much worse). I’m surprised that I haven’t thought of what wedding dress I want, where I want my wedding to be, what ring I want, how many kids I want to have and at what age. Then again, maybe I’m not all that surprised– I’ve always had a knack for loving too many things in this world and never being able to decide on just one. But why should I pick?
This world is one huge, amazing adventure, and I want to experience it. So I guess it comes down to this– if you can’t give me the world, no worries, I can give it to myself.
So if you’re 23 going on 24, or hell, even if you’re 30 (God knows I’ll probably still be single then), and you’re wondering what’s wrong with you that you don’t have baby fever yet- relax. There’s nothing wrong with you. Sure, sometimes it’ll make for some uncomfortable times at weddings, but just catch the bouquet and make a joke out of it.
Explore, go on an adventure, and rack up some incredible stories so that you can be the crazy aunt to all of your friends’ kids.
thrive & be bold.